Why kissing is the key to rediscovering intimacy in motherhood

Why kissing is the key to rediscovering intimacy in motherhood

Somewhere along the line between our teen years and parenthood, kissing becomes boring. Remember when a good snog was what we all aimed for? Here’s why revisiting that perspective might be more useful than you think!

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Clio and her husband, Bryn. Credit Ocean O’Connor

 

Do you remember when all you wanted to do was snog that boy (or girl) you fancied at school? When the sole aim of going to a party was to get your crush to kiss you? What about all those hours spent making out at the bus stop at hometime?

I thought so.

So when did kissing become the poor relation to sex? When did penetrative sex become the be all and end all of intimacy? Probably when the male gaze became the gold standard for sexual intercourse, but that’s for a whole other post…

When your sexuality is new and you’re exploring avenues, then of course kissing is exciting because you haven’t experienced anything else. But it can be exciting alongside sex too.

Society tends to underplay a bit of lip action, and whilst we are led to believe this is the norm, I’m here to champion kissing in motherhood and midlife intimacy too.

I wrote about kissing and why it’s brilliant for Good To Know. Read on below for a taster and the link to the article.

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“Kissing makes the build-up more fun

A good old-fashioned snog is a great way to connect with your partner: it hints of things to come, doesn’t require much effort (crucial when you’ve come off the back of a hard day of parenting) and should leave you in just the right frame of mind to take it further. Spending time here first helps you slowly but surely leave that heavy mental load behind.”

Also you can kiss anywhere (provided you ignore the horrified ‘yuk!’ from your kids), which is kind of frowned upon for any other deeper intimacy. So you don’t have to wait until you get into bed. Why does that matter? Because, I don’t know about you, but all I want to do in bed sometimes is sleep!

It can be really hard to make sure you’re connecting as a couple after kids come along. Not just in the throws of newborn or toddler life, but as they get older too. The mental load is still heavy in the school years, and as they graduate to teens, we might then have parents to care for too.

I’m here (I’m always here) to help you put yourself at the top of the priority list for once, with retreats, my book, one-to-ones…and telling you to kiss more. Go one, what have you got to lose?

Are you feeling disconnected from your identity and sexuality?

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