Accepting your postnatal body.
It’s common for women to be unhappy with their bodies no matter their age or shape, thanks to societal and media expectations. We put ourselves under even more pressure when we have babies…
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Me and my eldest daughter, Delphi (credit Jonny MP)
You might love your body after birth. You might not. The fact is that you have been through some seismic shifts, both mentally and physically; and those changes are bound to leave us feeling unsettled.
Our bodies and our minds might not ever be the same (did you know the actual chemistry of your brain changes when you become a mother?!) but instead of being sad about that, I think it’s something to honour and celebrate.
Instead of feeling grateful for giving life, we will often feel guilt that our bodies are somehow less than they used to be, rather than appreciating the strong and beautiful body that nourished and grew a human.
And those changes - the differences in your body now that you are a mum? Remember that different doesn’t have to mean worse, it just means different. And yes, that can be better, much better, too.
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It’s easy to speak in retrospect, I too have been you, reading this, competing against the impossible standard that a warped society has set us. Comparison is the thief of joy and just because you’re exposed to a perception of beauty on TV and magazines doesn’t make it normal - or even real sometimes!
In this age of social media, it’s even harder to feel comfortable in our own skin although thankfully we have a band of defiant disrupters who are flying in the face of the beauty ideal - including me!
Having a baby is a transformative experience for our minds and bodies so it’s important to cherish the precious vehicle that has transported you through life and your baby into it.
“My body doesn’t define my self-worth anymore - and what’s more, my body has a story. I actually think my body is awesome for what it’s done.”
We will likely have a residual bump and stretch marks and depending on our unique physiology, we will all take different times to heal and for our bodies to settle into our new normal. Yes, some changes will be temporary, others will be permanent. But instead of bemoaning the loss of your flat tummy or ridiculing your naked body in front of a mirror, look at yourself as a whole, not mere flesh and bone.
PLEASE bear in mind the misogyny of body perception. As women change and age, we’re supposed to hide it - as men change and age, it’s celebrated. Dad bods are even a fetish now, whereas mums are told to ‘bounce back’ after a baby.
In the end we won’t be remembered for our dress size but for what we did and how we made others feel - and at the end of the day, we’re all after peace, purpose and love and if that’s in a body that has gained a few pounds or even stone, that is totally OK.
You don’t have to love your body, but accepting it is a very big step to peace.
Questions? Drop me a line at hello@andbreathewellbeing.com or book a 1-2-1 consultation with me HERE.
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