Will my baby be damaged through lack of sleep?
In this guest blog, Helen Davies shares her thoughts about all things baby sleep! Helen is the owner and founder of Essential Parenting, a Parenting Consultant, qualified Health Visitor, Paediatric Nurse and Gentle Sleep Coach.
“Am I making a rod for my own back?”
If you’ve ever asked, “will my baby be damaged through lack of sleep?” or “am I making a rod for my back” or the all too common “can I teach my baby to self soothe?” then you are NOT alone! There are so many myths around our little one’s sleep and these myths increase our stress, parental guilt and reduce our confidence.
There’s lots of incorrect information in the mainstream media, most implying that a lack of sleep for children can have a horrendous impact on their ability to develop and their health. Whilst this may be true for school aged children and above, there are no accurate studies to suggest this applies to infants.
Worrying about whether our babies are getting enough shut eye isn’t new; we know that sleep is crucial for babies, but their brains are incredibly clever at prioritising the sleep that they need. In fact if you have ever tried waking a toddler from a nap, you will know what I mean!
And don’t forget that every baby is different; so, one 6 month old will need 11 hours of overnight sleep, but their little friend, 19 hours. Both are completely normal, but you can see why comparing our babies to our friends’ babies just doesn’t help!
Come up for air.
We run one exclusive Family & Postnatal Retreat each year! Click HERE for more >>>
sleep routines and schedules
Now, what about routines and schedules? If they help you - that’s great!
[I personally have had great success with introducing a routine (yes, there was crying involved) which meant that my baby slept more soundly. Crucially, I was getting enough sleep to function too. In my case, my mental health was suffering and a sleep solution for us all was needed. It was right for us and I have no regrets. - Clio, &B Founder]
If they cause you stress and anxiety, know that there’s a scientific study that shows that scrapping the routine and simply observing and following your baby’s needs may also benefit your mental health. (Breastfeeding Duration and Early Parenting Behaviour: The Importance of an Infant-Led, Responsive Style - Amy Brown, Bronia Arnott).
“Making a rod for your own back“ is often used in relation to parents rocking, feeding or cuddling their children to sleep. In response, many parents try to put their babies down to sleep alone, only to find that the little ones have other ideas and object - loudly! The end result is that, in many cases, parents feel that their babies have sleep problems when in actual fact, their sleep (and waking!) is entirely normal for their age or stage of development.
In time, your baby will sleep for longer stretches. We all wake up/stir after every sleep cycle and a baby cannot self-soothe automatically.
So what can we do to help (rather than teach) our babies sleep, if we choose this route?
+ Set up a calming environment
+ Remain calm and be a soothing presence for them
+ Provide enough stimulation, contact and connection
+ Provide rhythms and routines to cue them that it’s time for sleep
+ Rule out any underlying issues that could be causing baby to fight/resist sleep or to have very disrupted sleeping patterns
+ Relax and let go a little bit, and remember that you cannot force a human to sleep. If this is the right path for you, the legacy of all those times responding will outlive those intense early years and you will reap the rewards of your responsiveness in time.
Visit Helen’s website at www.essentialparenting.co.uk, or find her on Instagram at @essential_parenting.
Book a one-to-one consultation with me, Clio, to chat things through with an expert and funny friend!
Helen Davies, owner and founder of Essential Parenting, Parenting Consultant, qualified Health Visitor, Paediatric Nurse and Gentle Sleep Coach.
At &Breathe we’re passionate about wellbeing for postnatal, families, and peri-menopause. Click below to learn more about our RETREATS and my BOOK: