Why I hate Christmas, and why I know I’m not alone.
It’s ok, I’ll be honest so that you don’t have to be, but if the juggle is real for the rest of the year, then Christmas is when the overwhelm goes into overdrive…
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When you’ve had enough, so you just go and sit outside on the street…
It’s ok, guys, I said it. I really don’t like Christmas, and I know I’m not the only one. I’m just the only one who says it.
Because there are so many of us mums out there who have to ‘get into the Christmas spirit’ rather than it coming naturally. Ok, yes. We’re not kids, and we’re not going to be counting down the sleeps until Christmas like a five year old in mid-October, but every year as the big day approaches, I find my stress levels rising and my depression deepening, and mostly want to back away from everything festive.
For me, and I know it’s the same for many of you, because you’ve told me, it’s all just a bit too much.
Rather than enjoying the yummy food, the piles of presents, the presence of family and friends, the carolling, the christmas concerts, receiving cards, showing up to parties, and more, parents are the ones doing the sorting out, the ticking off and the organising.
And dare I write, it’s the mums that end up doing the lion’s share of the work. If the mental load is heavy for the rest of the year, it’s positively gargantuan for in the run up to Christmas.
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Underlying my own discomfort with the festive period is really the pressure of judgement too. Women are judged a lot. Mothers are judged even more, and the fear of impressing, of having to get everything right at Christmastime can be unbearable.
This is even more true in a world of photo-sharing and social media, where we are party to perfect yuletide homes, tables, present stacks, decorations, trees and more. It might be subconscious, but the pressure to compete is real, despite knowing objectively that what is shared is only a highlight reel.
This time two years ago, I was adamant that we would spend Christmas in Abu Dhabi. We’d booked a holiday in the hot, sunny, non-Christmas-y Middle East, where the hotel would do everything for me, rather than me doing everything for everyone else. But my plans were scuppered due to Covid. I’m still annoyed today.
But to make things better, I’m clear with my husband about my overwhelming load, we’re more equal than a lot of families I know, and this does help. I’m learning to not judge myself so harshly either. It doesn’t matter if things aren’t perfect, my kids are going to love me just the same anyway (hopefully!).
So here’s to ticking off the things we can manage on that massive to do list, and forgetting (and forgiving ourselves) about the rest. Now sit down and enjoy a glass of Bailey’s in front of The Holiday.
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