Tortoise Steps to Happiness with Klaus White
Sometimes our self-care mission is hard to live - we’re busy parents after all. So sometimes setting up some good habits can be a game-changer. And how to achieve that? With tortoise steps, of course!
Klaus White is the co-founder of The Way of the Tortoise. Previously a teacher and musician before moving into conference management and training, he now balances his love of writing and teaching along with a passion for music. He spends his spare time with his daughter, leads a community choir and would like a little more time to go to the movies.
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New Parent Overwhelm
If you’re reading this you understand all too well the overwhelm of becoming a new parent.
Following a series of life-changing events in 2018 I had to leave my role as manager in a conference company to be there for my four year old daughter Ava’s school run. I was in a dark place, adjusting to being a single father, new career and getting my head around an unexpected and very different future. I won’t lie, it was brutal and I had my dark nights of the soul, but to cut a long story short I got my life back. How? By creating a series of daily habits to get me through the day when Ava needed me most. Hopefully my methods can help you too.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
Why journalling?
Habits run our daily lives, giving them a shape and pattern. As a new parent your new habits are dictated to you and quite often the new habit could be to expect the unexpected. Good news is that your new exhausting and exhilarating adventure could be supported by adopting the simple daily habit of journalling.
Say what?
The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships published a study detailing that writing “focused on positive outcomes in negative situations” can decrease emotional distress. The Journal of Experimental Psychology published research showing that “reflective writing reduces intrusive and avoidant thoughts about negative events and improves working memory. These improvements in turn free up our cognitive resources for other mental activities, including our ability to cope more effectively with stress”.
So…It’s backed up by science but if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, barely finding time to breathe how do you even think about starting a journal?!
The simple answer, which can be applied to everything you face: take it slow and just do one thing at a time. Remember what Anna from Frozen says (yes, really): just focus on The Next Right Thing.
My top tips
We don’t want to overwhelm you even more! Try these 3 simple rules to first create a habit and the process of journalling will take care of itself.
1. Visual Trigger: place the journal and pen by your bed, kitchen table or somewhere you’ll see it and are reminded to scribble something down.
2. Repetition: journal at same time every day, a few minutes in the morning, just before bed, or at baby nap time.
3. Gratitude: If you’re stuck on what to write about make a short list of 3 things you are grateful for in this moment. You may find that once you start you can’t stop. That’s a positive mindset shift happening. Enjoy it.
Find a notebook (there’s always one that’s been gathering dust since last Christmas) or invest in my book, The Way of the Tortoise to start your knew routine. It may stay unopened for a few days, a week, a month but eventually you will find your moment, open it up and begin. Remember, you are not creating beautiful prose or life changing concepts. Start small; a line; a thought; a shopping list. The content comes later, first create the habit. No judgement or self-criticism. The important thing is the act itself and repetition, repetition, repetition.
“The content comes later, first create the habit. No judgement or self-criticism.”
Just a few words
You’ll be surprised at what just a few words a day can do.
After the first few journal entries you will start to look forward to the process as you are carving out a little time for yourself, clearing your mind, uncovering inner thoughts, creating simple goals, being mindful and grateful for what you have, and if required writing a note to yourself to buy more nappy rash cream. Once you create this new habit this feeling of a ‘little victory’ will spur you on to write a little more and continue until it becomes second nature and a really enjoyable part of your day. I hope this helps.
Happy Journalling!
Klaus
&Breathe Postnatal is a family wellbeing company focusing on fitness and self-care.
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