E is for Empower
Empower is a strong word and we shouldn't be afraid to use it. Parenting can bring massive change to your life and more often than not, you'll be less-equipped to deal with it than you were or are with the challenges and expectations of your life pre-child, for example at work, with your friends and in your relationship. E is about EMPOWERING yourself to feel able to cope, to acknowledge that you might not know it all, but that that's alright.
We're here to tell you that if you feel less than perfect, that's ok. Perfectly imperfect is more than ok and with these exercises, you'll learn to harness your own inner confidence and bring it to the fore, rather than listening to the doubts that bubble away under the surface. You might be in a (literal) shitstorm, but you don't have to feel that way.
Our Resident Happiness Coach, Olivia Horne, talks us through feeling EMPOWERED and how to stop negative thoughts in their tracks. Phew!
Go on - #BeYourOptiMUM
Why
Because you matter as well as the kids, and because you’re doing an amazing job. We don’t get much direct positive feedback from them, especially in the early days, so why not give some to yourself. Finding a new kind of confidence again after having a baby can be really hard – your role, responsibilities and routine have all been turned inside out. Your identity is forever changed and your relationships are challenged on new levels. Which is why it's so critical that you learn to manage those feelings of doubt and worry and guilt, to give yourself and your children the confidence and self belief that you all deserve. It starts with you.
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
How
First get your head around the fact that perfect parenting does not exist. You can have lots of magic moments, and plenty of good days. But don’t listen to anyone or anything that tells you it’s supposed to be perfect – especially the shiny filters of social media and all the comparisons they trigger. Be authentic and true to your own values – be who you are, not who the world thinks you should be. If your inner critic is getting involved, thank it for trying to make you a better parent, and then send it on its way or give it something else more useful to focus on.
Remember that confidence is silent and insecurities are loud, so why not try turning the volume down. You can work with some positive affirmations such as ‘I am present’, ‘I am grateful’, ‘I am calm’, and ‘I am confident’. Sometimes it’s your inner child who needs the boost, so you can talk to her as you would to your own child and tell her that she’s brave and strong, confident and resourceful, and that you’re really proud of her. Focus on self care, self love and self respect. Choose to fill your cup with the things that bring you confidence and joy, regardless of the choices others are making. Surround yourself with positive people who support and empower you to believe in the possibility of your dreams and goals. Starting right now, believe in yourself.
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.”
Try it now
Acknowledge something that you’re winning at today, no matter how small it might seem to you, notice the positive impact it’s having on your life, and give yourself a massive high five. You’ve got this.
Olivia Horne is &Breathe's Resident Happiness Coach, because finding your best you is about the mind as well as the body. She also offers one-to-one coaching and small group meditation classes in London, find out more here and here.
#BeYourOptiMUM
At &Breathe we believe in Being Your Best You to be at your best for everyone around you. Our retreats and events allow you the selfcare time you deserve and through this Spring, we're sharing ways to #BeYourOptiMUM - what's yours?
Tag #BeYourOptiMUM and tell us!